Reawakening Your Marriage #7

1. Read Ps. 32:1-5. What is the basis of David’s joy?

2. The statement was made that forgiveness is love’s toughest work, and love’s biggest risk. Why do you think forgiveness is such a risk?

3. Read Matthew 18:22-35. Do you think this is an accurate depiction of our failure to forgive each other in light of God’s grace to us? Can you think of an example in which you personally acted this parable out?

4. How far do you think Jesus expects us to go in offering forgiveness to our spouses who have hurt us? What does that look like practically speaking? Can you think of an example in which forgiveness should be withheld? How far did Jesus go?

5. Read Psalm 86:5. What do you think it means to be always “ready to forgive?”

6. Can we forgive just “as” God has forgiven us? In what ways?

7. Read Luke 17:3-4. Can you relate to the disciples response? Does Jesus place conditions on forgiving others in this text or is He exaggerating the scenario to make a point? What do you think repentance should look like before you will forgive?

8. What does God require of us before He forgives?

9. Review & discuss the list of what forgiveness is not:

Forgiveness is not excusing or condoning sin.

Forgiveness is not denying your pain, hurt or anger.

Forgiveness is not stuffing your grief.

Forgiveness is not a one time event.

Forgiveness is not the same as smothering the conflict.

Forgiveness is not the same as accepting a person.

Forgiveness is not tolerance.

Forgiveness does not always mean full restoration.

Forgiveness is not forgetting a person’s sin.

Do you agree or disagree? If this is what forgiveness is NOT, what is forgiveness? Make a list of what forgiveness consists of in concrete practical actions.

10. What do you expect to receive when you ask for forgiveness? What do you give when your spouse seeks yours? How can you begin to practice the concept of outlandishly generous, unreserved, undeserved forgiveness described by Jesus in your marriage?

Reawakening Your Marriage #6 questions

1. How well prepared do you think couples are today, upon entering into marriage, to live in forgiveness?

2. In his message Russ made this statement: “Quite frankly, the great need husbands and wives have to forgive and receive forgiveness from each other is, in all likelihood, the most essential element and primary need in a marriage relationship.” In light of your own experience, how accurate do you think this statement is? Which is more difficult for you to verbalize: “Will you forgive me?” or “I will forgive you.”

3. Read Matthew 5:23-24. In what context does Jesus make this statement? How does it apply to your marriage? According to Jesus in this passage whose responsibility is it to initiate the forgiveness process? And what is the extent of the responsibility?

4. What does it mean to be reconciled? Does reconciliation always mean that the relationship can return to normal? What happens when the other party refuses to be reconciled? Read Romans 12:18. Is peace with all men possible? What is the statement really saying about our own heart?

5. How does ‘GRACE’ relate to the concept of forgiveness? Is grace fair? [cf. Eph. 1:7]

6. Read: Col. 1:21-22; Col. 2:13-14; 2 Cor. 5:18-20. What is the spiritual model that is laid out for us in these passages? How can these scriptures be applied in our relationship with our spouses?

7. Who is usually the first person in your marriage to apologize when there is a conflict? How often do you seek forgiveness in your marriage relationship? When was the last time you were the first one to say the words, “Will you forgive me?”

8. Read Ephesians 4:31-32 slowly and in at least three or four different translations. What is the crux of the message? How must we supply forgiveness to others? Read Matthew 6:9-15 and Mark 11:22-26. Why must we supply forgiveness to others?

9. What does it means to forgive “just as” we have been forgiven by God in Christ? How does God forgive? What are the characteristics of God’s forgiveness of our transgressions? List as many as you can think of along with scriptural references. [cf. Ps. 103:8-12; Isa. 43:25; Jer. 31:34; Mic. 7:18-19; Lk. 23:34, etc.]

10. Read Psalm 86:5. Most people are at least willing to forgive over time, but can you say that you reflect this attribute of God? Do you stand “ready to forgive ... to all who call upon you?” Especially when it is your spouse? Take time to pray that God would indeed flood your own heart with His spirit of forgiveness, not only for your sake, but also for the sake of others.